When the world unfortunately failed to end in 2012, as John Hodgman had predicted in his Netflix Special,he was not only heaped with shame but also SURPLUS RAGNAROK SURVIVAL KITS.

He created these kits because it seemed that the safest way to pack and mail a RAGNAROK extended DVD would be to surround it with mayonnaise. This is LOGIC.

But thenhe realizedhe also wanted to includean engraved urine flask, a sample ofhis mustache DNA,his downloaded consciousness on a thumbdrive, and a beautiful, non-ironic unisex fragrance that may be called “Sperm-Whale,” or “Whale” or “Sperm,” depending on how you read the rebus.

It was all designed by, who is a genius.

The mayonnaise was made by our friends atthe latein Brooklyn. Mayonnaise is for entertainment purposes only.

The fragrance was designed to my totally non-joke specifications by.

The urine flask is empty, but urine is easily made at home.

And remember the DVD? It really exists, in hard copy, Omega-Pulse-Proof form, and it features not only ALL of RAGNAROK, but additional comedy by John Hodgman, additional songs by Cynthia Hopkins, and appearances by Ira Glass and Andrew Sullivan and Tom Scharpling that sadly were cut from the Netflix edit for time.

And it all fits within a custom, hard-sided GO BAG, signed by John Hodgman, and sealed and delivered by us.